A List of Excuses Why I Haven’t Been Posting Lists For Over A Year

1. I was busy eating popcorn.
2. I was busy making popcorn.
3. I didn’t remember my password. Turns out it was password.
4. I had too much alcohol/caffeine/nicotine/THC/ women/lack of attention in my head.
5. I got an Iphone, it has a list app, so I figured why bother.
6. I couldn’t think of anything that needed listing.
7. I used all my lists to plug the Exxon oil leak.
8. I had a nervous breakdown, and I had to go to list rehab.
9. I spent all my lists and went into list debt, then had to foreclose on my main list.
10. I became friends with a listmaker, then they slept with my mom, and I swore off lists forever.
11. God told me to stop, or else. Or else what? Suppose I’ll find out.
12. A list tried to kill my brother.
13. I became a freedom fighter in South America, and the dictator of the Coup D’etat forbid lists.
14. My dog ate my lists.
15. The C.I.A. was following my lists.
16. Lists and I broke up.
17. Sarah Palin shot my lists, mistaking them for a bear.
18. Justin Bieber said he’d be my friend if I stopped generating lists.
19. My family conducted a listervention.
20. If I started again, this boring ass list would have to be posted.

Excuses belong in the garbage, along with most lists.