1x11
FBI Agent: “If I wanted to bust up card games I’d have a donut in my mouth.”
1x12
Carmella: “In Alaska they wear these little light hats in the winter so they don’t get depressed.”
1x13
Tony: “Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this!”
Tony’s boy: “Fuckin poison ivy all over…I can feel it itchin’ me already!”
Tony’s boy 2: “I usually do sit with my ass, why don’t you try sitting with yours?”
2x3
Tony: “I’m the motherfucking fucking one who calls the shots.”
2x5
Tony: “You got a problem besides those fucking pants!?”
2x7:
Livia: “Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle! And if you want my advice…don’t expect happiness. You won’t get it, people let you down, and I’m not naming any names, but in the end you die in your own arms…it’s all a big nothing, what makes you think you’re so special?”
Tony: ”When you’re married you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce.”
2x8
Sean: “You leave me hanging in the mother fucking cock sucking wind.”
2x10
Pussy’s cop: “No joke Sal, you don’t want to see my dawker side.”
2x11
Tony: “What’s the point? You go to Italy, you lift some weights, you watch a movie. It’s all a series of distractions until you die.”
Junior: “What the hell would we have in common? Bunyon. You know how I feel about feet.”
Tony: “Don’t give me your fucking Manson lamps.”
2x12
Junior: “That’s nice, then he dies. I couldn’t even wear his fucking shoes.”
2x13
Carmela: “Our daughter is graduating high school. You can’t wait to persecute him? To persecute us?”
3x4
Fuccilio: “We don’t have-a those pope joke, they don’t translate.”
Jennifer: “Oh don’t worry, I’m not going to break the social compact.”
3x8
Carmela’s Psychiatrist: “Many patients want to be excused from their current predicament because of events that occurred in their childhood. That’s what psychiatry has become in America.”
3x9
Cop: “This pie fit a pattern?”
Pauly: “Snakes were fucking themselves way before Adam and Eve.”
3x10
Pauly: “The boss of this family said you’re gonna be Santa Claus, you’re Santa Claus, so shut the fuck up!”
Pauly: “In the end, fuck Santa Claus.”
3x12
Jennifer: “Why would anybody hit you, of all people, with a side of beef?”
Douchebag car salesman: “you see Tuesday I can take my kid to Raffi.”
Jackie jr.s friend: “Who the fuck was felix lamonte? Or fix lamonte?”
Carmella: “She’s a role model for all of us.” (Speaking of Hillary Clinton)
Patsy: “It won’t be cinematic.”
3x13
Omar: “Welcome to Hotel Boonton.” (Just because it’s fucking Omar.)
Junior: “Fuckin Illness changed my whole viewpoint. I’m gonna stop and smell the roses.” Tony: “We all should. I mean, what the fuck?”
And speaking of what the fuck, the ending of season 3, when Junior is singing and everything’s emotional and conclusive, then there is the weird lip sync “remember all the people who sang this song” montage. Terrible.
To be continued…
4x1
Tony: “Sil, break it down for them. What two businesses have traditionally been recession proof since time and memorial?”
Silvio: “Certain aspects of show business, and our thing.”
4x3
Bobby: “I wouldn’t mind sitting on my ass all day smoking mushrooms and collecting government checks.”
Tony: “You gotta walk in Christopher Columbus’ shoes, people the world was flat for crying out loud. Then he lands on an island with a bunch of naked savages on it. I mean, that takes a lot of guts. You remember when we went to Florida? The heat, and those bugs?”
Rosalie: “It’s not stuff, it’s death, it’s pain!”
4x4
J’s psychiatrist: “Turns out this guy was probably another parent, or more likely a repairmen, but if he had dragged me out of my car, and beaten me up, would I be saying ‘Gee, I shouldn’t have tried to park my car?’ Anyway, enough about him, let’s get back to you.”
4x8
Pauly: “I don’t understand, when I was a kid, you two were old ladies. Now I’m old, and you two are still old.”
4x9
Bobby: “First question, what’s today’s date?”
Junior: “A blonde with big tits and a hatful of Viagra.”
4x10:
Tony: “Can’t I just be sad for a horse, without some touchy feely Freudian shit component to it?”
4x13
Carmela: “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.”
Carmela: “I know you better than anybody, Tony, even your friends. Which is probably why you hate me.”
5x3
Bobby: “And you, lay off the Snapple.”
5x9
Tony: “Sometimes what happens in here is like taking a shit.”
Jennifer: “Yes, okay. Although I prefer to think of it more like childbirth.”
Tony: “Trust me, it’s like taking a shit.”
6x2
“AJ wanted to come but he got a really stomach flu from a burrito. Lawfirms being so understanding about me taking time off to be here.”
Rosie: “that’s a fascinating psychological nugget…”
6x7
artie: “we lead the world in computerized data collection.”
6x10
Silvio: “To what end?”
Tony: “You know who’s really good to talk to about stuff? Your mother.”
6x11
Silvio: “Make sure you clean all that shit off her tit!”
Phil Leotardo’s Wife (God Bless Her): “There’s nothing gay about Hell.”
Phil: “He was a good man, I loved him like a brother-in-law.”
6x13
Bobby: “You know the Parker Brothers took time to think this all out, I think we should respect that.”
“Fuck the Parker Brothers, just play the game.”
Carmella: “Tony is not a vindictive man.”
6x14
Silvio: “Just say it then! Walt fucking Whitman over here.”
6x17
Tony: “Everything turns to shit.”
Tony: “It’s in his blood, this miserable fucking existence. My rotten fucking putrid genes have infected my kid’s soul. That’s what I’ve given to my son.”
Jennifer: “I know this is difficult, but I’m very glad we had this discussion.”
Tony: “Really? Really? Because I gotta be honest, I think it fucking sucks.”
Jennifer: “What does?”
Tony: “Therapy. This. I hate this fucking shit! Seriously we’re both adults here right? So, after all is said and done, after all the complaining and the crying and all the fucking bullshit, is this all there is?”
And some beautiful Soprano clips:
the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.
hahahahha, yes, it is Omar!!! ^^
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